Faith in Christ Through Suffering

My faith in Jesus Christ is the most important thing in my life right now. It is truly what keeps me going through all the difficulties I encounter every day, which are numerous.

I recognize that there are all types of suffering in the world, and I have a great many things to be grateful for. I always have a warm place to sleep at night. My parents are married and love each other. Our family is whole, and my siblings are bright. I can relate to each of them in unique ways.

But there have also been times when I was completely alone, facing physical hardships, mental challenges, or people and organizations giving me a very difficult time. Sometimes there was no path but forward. There was no option except to continue moving, however difficult it might be.

The lessons that stayed with me

I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school at St. Michael's in Poway, and I'm a proud alumnus. As a rebellious kid, I actually think Catholic school was the perfect place for me. At twelve to fourteen years old, a lot of the Scripture and lessons didn't really land. I didn't give them much weight or credibility. Now, those teachings are the most important things in my life.

I enlisted in the Marine Corps at seventeen. Recruit training puts a young kid into a high-octane, stressful environment designed to break you down and rebuild you. You have friends in your platoon, but it's not the same as civilian friendship. You can't just BS with them. At meals, your job is to sit there, shut up, and shovel your mouth with food. God help you if you get caught laughing or joking around.

Of course, I went to Catholic Mass every Sunday during recruit training. Mass was a very safe place for me. More than that, I really felt visited by Christ. I felt that He was with me, and that gave me the strength to continue.

I had spoken to many Marines about how to get through recruit training, and the advice was to take it chow to chow and Sunday to Sunday. That's how you get through it. Each meal gets you to the next meal, and each Sunday gets you to Mass again. That rhythm mattered to me, especially because Mass was where I felt Christ's presence most strongly.

I remember one Sunday during boot camp when, after Catholic Mass, they showed a film about Father Vincent Capodanno, a Navy chaplain who ministered to Marines during the Vietnam War and was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor. I was touched almost to the point of tears.

That was when I really began to feel the gift of the Catholic faith, and how important it is to service members, really to warriors, to have something beyond the physical world and physical friends to rely on. Those friends are there for you and typically try their best not to let you down. But the one constant in my life, especially since recruit training, has been Christ, His grace, and the gifts of the sacraments, most importantly the Eucharist and confession. I go to confession almost weekly. Attending Mass every week is very important to me.

Suffering, anger, and Christ

After the Marines, I was left with physical ailments. I won't go into too much detail, but my skeletal system, particularly my cervical spine, is a little jacked up. And that's being charitable. It's pretty jacked up. After a recent MRI, I joked that I basically have the neck of a seventy-year-old.

I also deal with tremendous pain in my ears, TMJ syndrome, and mental health struggles that affect me every day. They make life generally pretty difficult. I know I'm fortunate in many ways, but that doesn't make the daily challenges disappear.

There was a stage in my life when I cursed God. I blamed Him for my ailments and the bad things that happened to me. I used those hardships as reasons to be upset with Him.

My outlook has changed, especially with the help of my faith community and weekly Mass. I have learned to focus on the suffering of Christ. He has knowledge of all things, good and bad, and Jesus Himself experienced great suffering, mental and physical torment. During the Agony in the Garden, He was so anxious and heartbroken about the sacrifice He was going to make that Luke describes His sweat becoming like drops of blood.

Luke 22:44: “He was in such agony and he prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground.”

He understands our pain. He is there with us. That doesn't mean my neck suddenly stops hurting or that anxiety disappears. It means I have a different way to understand suffering and a reason to keep going through it.

The Our Father and the person in front of me

I'm grateful every day that Christ gives me the strength to go on, and ways to pour out His love to those around me. Sometimes that means paying a simple compliment to someone on the street. Sometimes it's buying a less fortunate person a meal, giving it to them, and praying with them.

One of my favorite things to do is ask someone who looks like they're having a tough day if they'd like to pray with me. I've been surprised at how receptive people are. It doesn't have to be a long-winded prayer. Simply inviting a stranger to pray the Our Father can be very impactful.

The Our Father is one of my favorite prayers. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, this is what He taught them. There is something powerful about sharing those words with someone you have only just met.

Luke 11:1: “Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples.”

I was raised Catholic, rebelled a little, and at one point blamed God for my hardships. I still struggle. But my faith community, the Mass, the Eucharist, confession, and prayer have helped me practice a different outlook on the physical and mental suffering we all encounter here on Earth.

Christ gives me strength to move forward and opportunities to show love to others. My faith is very, very important to me. I wouldn't trade it away for anything.